


ramblings of a dying adolesence

by strathroy (orphan_account)



Series: Tumblr Prompts [5]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Child Abuse, Depression, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, nothing like breaking the fluff train with some PURE ANGST, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 13:27:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15244395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/strathroy
Summary: She was a coward to promise on deaf ears.





	ramblings of a dying adolesence

**Author's Note:**

> current joys is always good angst music to listen too, and i suck at naming fics so 
> 
> yeah
> 
> (p.s. feedback on this one would be helpful especially because i am not a good angst writer)

It was killing her, slowly.

Seeing Lapis wither away, seeing the personality and voice unique to the girl just...fade.

Peridot thinks the worst part is being helpless. She couldn’t go up to Lapis’ father and demand he stop, she couldn’t scream at Blue to open her _fucking eyes and see what was happening -_

The most she could do was hold her, offer a place of comfort, help her escape whatever hell she experienced that day.

But she could only do so much, and she was beginning to realize it wouldn’t be enough.

\---

She came through the window, the first time. Covered in bruises and stumbling to her feet when Peridot opened the window.

The one that made her believe that they could pull through, together.

“Hey,” she shifted her feet, looking unsure of what to do.

Peridot didn’t say anything at first, biting back tears until she mustered up the words.

“Lazuli,” it was raw with emotion, “what happened?”

It was one of the most _heavy_ nights she’d ever had. To see the normally vibrant, sarcastic, _passionate_ girl so subdued was sobering.

She talked about her father, coming home drunk, angrily swearing at her mother. He apparently saw her eavesdropping, and well, she didn’t have anywhere to go.

Lapis stayed a couple nights after that (Yellow couldn’t care less what her daughter did, great mom, she knows), and ever since, it’s been kinda routine. Lapis would leave when it got bad, and it hurt so _damn much_ whenever she didn’t make it out unscathed.

Blue wouldn’t accept the reality of their marriage crumbling or what he was doing to her daughter, and that just made Peridot’s blood boil.

It was taking a toll on Lapis, Peridot _knows_ what it’s like to grow up without anyone, but Lapis, Lapis was having it _ripped from her._

\---

“S’gettin’ worrsee, Perii,” she slurred, and _fuck she was drunk._

The smaller girl tucked into Peridot’s side, putting her arms loosely around her waist, “He’s gettin’ her too.”

Her eyes were wide and hazy, the kind of drunken stare that saw both through and in you.

She could only reciprocate the embrace, whispering sweet nothings into her ear as they curled up in Peridot’s messy bed, the world quiet and unenthused.  

“It’ll get better, Laz, I _promise._ ”

But the girl was already asleep, snoring softly, grip loose on the blonde’s sleep shirt.

_She was a coward to promise on deaf ears._

\---

_“Hey, uhm, Peri? C-can you pick me up?”_

Her voice broke slightly, and she could hear the underlying urgency.

“Where are you?”

She listed off some unfamiliar street, which turned out to be on the other side of town, tucked away in a corner.

“I can be there in twenty,” she paused, “Is that okay?”

Lapis hissed in pain, _“Y-Yeah, just...just hurry.”_

The other girl hung up, and now the blonde’s mind was delving into the worst case scenarios.

_She’s hurt._

_She’s on some unfamiliar street on the opposite side of town that wasn’t known for its safety._

Peridot hopped in her shitty little yellow Volkswagen, and tried not to speed - getting pulled over wouldn’t help matters at all.

It was a tense ride over, time was slow and Peridot’s mind was going a mile a minute; she had to consciously let out her held breath as she approached the street.

Her headlights illuminated Lapis’ form, which was a little ways away from the curb.

The taller girl could see the immediate relief that washed over the girl’s face as she saw her yellow Bug - hurrying towards it, looking behind her shoulder.

“Thank you,” she whispered, eyes watering, “shit, i’ll never do that again.”

“Do what?”

“Leave,” she moved to clutch her side, “long story.”

“We have all night.”

“Look, it was just me being an impulsive, idiot kid.”

Peridot gripped the steering wheel hard, knuckles turning white, “I didn’t drive all the way out here to get brushed off. Tell me, Laz, just... _please._ ”

“I...”

“I…can’t.” she choked, “I can’t keep depending on you. I can’t keep doing this, I _can’t._ ”

“Wh-What?”

“I just…am bad,” she gave a hollow chuckle, “I take so much, _I’m too much._ ”

“Lapis -”

“Just take me home, Peridot. I’m sorry.”

“No, Lapis. I’m not giving up on you.”

“Well you’re the only one that hasn’t, so the odds aren’t all that good.”

“Just... _please._ Stick with it. You’ll get out of this shithole and to a better life soon, I…”

“You what? _Promise?_ A failed high school student who gets the shit beat out of her almost every damn day can escape? I don’t have a lot going for me, and I just need to accept that I never will. Peri, please stop making me have _hope._ ”

Peridot alone will never be enough, both of them know that.

**Author's Note:**

> writing tumblr: @galaxxywrites


End file.
